Tim Tebow
Why am I writing about Tim Tebow? Is this a sports blog now? Well, it's kind of a "whatever's relevant" blog, and Tebow was all over the pop-culture radar over this last year. He led the Denver Broncos through a pretty dramatic and successful season. The thing that elevates him from being just a good quarterback to American Hero is his status as a die-hard religious guy. He is unapologetically committed to his Christian identity, in a very public way.
I don't necessarily have a problem with his faith. I should clarify this statement by saying that I resent the tendency in our culture to consider faith to be a virtue, and I think that the suppression of reason (and the subsequent tendency to replace reason with faith) is a source of needless pain and suffering on a global level. As a humanist and an atheist, I find his commitment to iron-age Palestine's superstitious tribal religious traditions to be a little pathetic and lacking in a rational sense, but as an American I respect his right to believe and practice whatever religion keeps him feeling warm and fuzzy, even if I think it's nonsense.
The things that I take issue with are hypocrisy and narcissism. Tebow perfectly embodies both of these traits, which is what makes him so endearing to Americans (particularly the hyper-religious). He is a shining example of the ugly, deceitful, morally hollow nature of the overtly pious.
I'm basing my arguments on Tim Tebow's repeated public displays of prayer, by the way. You may have seen photos or video of him doing this. When the shit goes down, it looks something like this:
Pictured: The most American thing ever.
He does this at every game. Often, he does this more than once per game. I'm not just talking about his professional career, either. He used to do it when he was in college, too. It's kind of his thing. He prays over and over and over. Now, do I have any objection to public prayer? Depends on the context, I guess. I think that whether or not I cared about public religious displays isn't especially relevant. What is relevant is what Tebow's homie Jesus (allegedly) had to say about it in the bible, which is (allegedly) the historically accurate word of God. I think it's safe to assume that Tebow, as a devout Christian, grants the bible a measure of authority over his life. I feel especially confident about this assumption, considering Tebow's habit of writing the references to bible verses on his face all the damn time.
However, one verse that you will never see on his face is Matthew 6:5. This verse says: "When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full." Now, the speaker here was a minor figure in Christianity by the name of Jesus Christ. According to the bible, Jesus condemned big, public displays of religion. His teachings would lead me to believe that he found such displays to be a sign that the offending person was more focused on seeking attention than on anything of a spiritual nature. In fact, the very next verse (that's Matthew 6:6, for those of you who aren't paying attention) says that when people want to telepathically communicate with their imaginary superfriend, they should "go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your father who sees what is done in secret will reward you." The bible teaches that prayer is supposed to be a deeply personal process, and that when people do it in public it reveals that they aren't really focused on communion with their choice of deity, but instead that their focus is, at best, ostentatious.
Let's take a second to assume that Jesus didn't explicitly instruct his followers to do their praying in private. What if public prayer was totally kosher? Well, this leads me to my second major objection to Tebow. See, if you look at the life of Jesus, as documented in the four traditional gospel narratives, the guy spent most of his time trying to help people out. His life was all about healing sick people and feeding hungry people. What I'm trying to say is, the guy was essentially a socialist. Just kidding (kind of). That's not what I'm saying today. What I'm trying to draw attention to is that Jesus' priorities were pretty much radically different from those of, say, your average NFL ticket-holder.
If there is a god (ha!), would he give a fuck about the Denver Broncos? Let's expand things a little further. Would he give a fuck about football? Now, I know that many Americans would say that he absolutely does, but many (most?) Americans are kind of (exceptionally) stupid.
I think that it's safe to say that, if god exists (ha!), he/she/it has bigger things to worry about.
Pictured: The world, in its current state. Also, shit that's less important than football, apparently.
Shouldn't people who have a direct telepathic line of communication to god be using that incredible gift to be praying for stuff like... oh, I don't know, maybe for god to reveal some kind of plan for solving problems like world hunger, religiously motivated terrorists, or the ever-spreading AIDS epidemic? Maybe Tebow, the alleged follower of Jesus, could spend his time praying for something that matters instead of praying to win football games? He could try praying for a cure for cancer, or for children all over the world to be rescued from abusive situations, or literally any number of legitimate problems that are affecting vast amounts of people right now. No, that would require Tim Tebow to have some kind of compassionate global perspective. I don't see it happening.
In case you are currently thinking, "Hey! How the heck do you know what he's praying for? He could be praying for something other than football, you know," I have something to show you. This is an excerpt from an interview conducted by Dan Wetzel following the Broncos' victory over the San Diego Chargers:
“That was a huge play,” Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow said. Yes, there was the rookie linebacker making a clutch, overtime tackle of San Diego Chargers running back Mike Tolbert for a four-yard loss. The play forced the Chargers into a just-too-long 53-yard overtime field goal attempt that wound up off course.
Not that Tebow saw either play.
“I can’t say I saw too much of it,” Tebow said. “I was praying.”
Praying for a miss?
“I might have said that,” Tebow laughed. “Or maybe a block. Maybe all of it.”
He's praying for god to supernaturally intervene in fucking football games. He's not praying for god to supernaturally reach down and save anyone from leukemia. He doesn't care to trouble the almighty with a request that he extend his omniscient hand to provide comfort to the victims of rape. He's a millionaire athlete without a care in the world, other than the simple desire to beat the other team, and he thinks that god wants that, too. It's a fantastic example of the narcissistic nature of prayer.
"God, please help find my lost dog."
"Jesus, I'm late for work. Please make all of the traffic lights green!"
"Allah, allow my son to get in to a good college."
For the Catholics: "Saint (insert name here), please give me (whatever)."
It's disgusting.
It's morally reprehensible.
Any thinking person with ethical principles should condemn this behavior. Instead, he is celebrated. This isn't a "freedom of religion" issue, by the way. Tebow should absolutely be free to be as big of a rapacious, sanctimonious asshole as he wants to be. America should celebrate his right to express himself, and resoundingly cry out in anathema because of the moral implications of Tebow's self-serving beliefs. Instead, he has the second best-selling jersey in the NFL right now (behind Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rogers).
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